The End of a Small Sanctuary
by LooMoo
Summary: I was worrying about it ending before it had even started. I was afraid of losing something I'd never had. More than anything though, I was terrified of the truth that should never have been told. Yukino x Kanade
1. Prologue

**The End of a Small Sanctuary**

**Prologue **

My earliest memories painted a vivid canvas of the very definition of a perfect childhood. I had a loving mother, a good-humoured father, an adorable baby sister, and her. My twin. She was the well sculpted protagonist in the chronicles of my life. And for as long as I can remember, I've always loved my her with everything in my heart.  
>She was always beautiful, in ways that inexplicably took my breath away. Always caring for me when I needed her most.<br>Always…there. And even in the darker moments of my past, she has never left my side.  
>And for that, I am truly grateful.<p>

_So how could I do something so unforgivable? _

"Kana-chan, Kana-chan~" Suddenly a face appeared directly in front of mine, startling me out of my deep train of thought. I saw the blurry countenance smile before it moved to a more appropriate distance, allowing my long-sightedness to focus on the pretty girl in front of me "Are you just going to stare out the window all day or are we going to go shopping before it gets dark?"

Shaking my head to clear the thoughts of my once simple life, I stood up and grabbed my russet coloured coat from the hook by the door. Putting it on swiftly, I turned on my heels to face my sister as she stared over at me curiously, an eyebrow raised. Looking playfully back at her I smirked and raised my arm, offering it to her in a gentlemanly manner.

"Shall we then Madame?" I said in a faux British accent, making Yukino giggle at how bad it was.  
>Walking gracefully over to me she rest her arm atop of mine "Why yes good Sir, I believe we shall" She replied, in a drawl no better than my own.<br>Laughing, we left our dorm room spouting various other typically British phrases as we ambled down the stairs onto the street.

It would have appeared to anyone, who didn't know any better, that I was truly content. I'd smile and joke and do everything any normal, seemingly carefree teenager would do as she spent her Sunday browsing around the stores in the near by shopping district.

Though, deep down, in the pit of my stomach the feeling of dread weighed me down like a tonne of lead.

And as always, it started with a secret.

I was in love.

And the path of love is always one wrought with turmoil. Especially when they are blissfully unaware of your feelings. Even more so if, by accident or design, they turn out to be the same gender. And you might as well get out the damn rope if that person just so happens to be your twin.

* * *

><p>I felt a prod on my cheek and I knew instantly that it was from a certain blonde who also happened to be the source of my confusion.<p>

"Kana-chan, you're doing it again" she said in a melodious voice as she sat beside me casually munching on a piece of cake.  
>I stopped poking at my own desert on the plate in front of me and looked over at her.<p>

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything" I replied as I watched Yukino devour the rest of her food in one mouthful.

We'd been shopping for nearly three hours and it was beginning to get dark outside. On our way to the train station though, we had decided to take a different route and happened upon this little café that sold every type of pastry imaginable. I'd been against the idea initially, but nothing could stop Yukino's sweet tooth from getting its fix.

Wiping the excess crumbs from her mouth she continued "Exactly, you've been staring into to the distance like some sort of zombie" She seemed concerned but suddenly a mischievous grin made its way on to her face "It's almost like Kana-chan is…in love~"

Immediately my eyes widened and my eye brow twitched.  
>Realising this was a dead give away though, I tried to mask my surprise, remaining as nonchalant as possible as I lied my way out of this.<p>

"Pfft yeah right, me? Love someone? Get out of here! No way, no how! I could never-"

Suddenly Yukino cut me off with a squeal that almost made me fall off my chair

"Oh Kana-chan! You do! Tell me who it is." She yelped clapping her hands together, making a couple three tables away stare over their cakes at us.  
>I sighed and rested my head on the table, realising that the execution of my defense was about as smooth as sand paper.<p>

"Is it me?"

Her voice had dropped when she said it, but I heard it loud and clear.  
>My heart skipped a beat and my blood ran cold. I felt like time had frozen as she waited for my reply.<p>

_Does she know? Is she disgusted? Does she love me back? What if she does! Maybe this is my chance._

I tried desperately organizing my thoughts and finally came to a split second decision to be honest for once.  
>I swallowed, almost audibly, as I slowly lifted my head to say the most important and terrifying thing in my life.<p>

"Juuust kidding." She chirped up, finishing the rest of my abandoned chocolate cake with a big smile on her face before I could say a word.

…

Next thing I knew I was pulling on her cheek as she begged for forgiveness.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey boys and girls, hope you are all well.

Anyway, let's cut the crap (haha sorry, I'm kidding I really do wish the best for you all :P) as you can see, this is a Candy Boy FF. I love CB. It's just so damn sweet, and even though it deals with something that is considered a taboo, it makes it not seem that way in the slightest.

I mean just to get things straight, I don't exactly condone or support incest in real life, but in the world of anime and fanfiction as long as it's done right, I'm liberal enough to be okay with it. But if you are offended in anyway, I apologise...but why the hell are you reading Candy Boy fanfictions in the first place!

Ahem, moving on, this is somewhat of a prologue so there is obviously more to come, so if it's possible, give those sexy fingers of yours a work out and type me up a review...nobody wants fat fingers right? I'm doing you a favour :D (In Yukino's voice: Juuust kidding~)


	2. Chapter 1

**End of a Small Sanctuary**

**Chapter 1**

It's funny the things you think about in bed when sleep seems to be the furthest thing away from your all-too conscious mind.

It was on a cold night, very much like this one, that I began to question my impure feelings for my twin.

A night where the temperamental heating went kaput and the only thing to warm me was the thin blanket and the soft body pressed firmly against me.

A night so still and quiet, the only thing I could hear was the sound of the delicate breath from the one I love.

A night, two years ago now, that I realised I loved my sister more than society would see fit.

The same thoughts were racing through my mind currently. My inner turmoil running circles around my head, until I no longer knew what was right and what was wrong anymore. Sleep, once my only solace from the demeaning thoughts on my own feelings, had become fitful of late. My dreams filled with images of a lonely future. Dreams, nightmares, in which Yukino would be married and I'd be left behind, never knowing what it was like to be loved by the most important person in my life.

_How can one person do so much to me?_

I gazed on to her face in the dim moonlit room. It was so close I realised I could almost taste every shallow lungful of air she exhaled. As each breath crept past my lips I drank it in, praying every one would last a little longer as I held it in my chest for a few seconds before returning it. It made any shameful, sober or moral thoughts I had previously, dissipated into the recesses of my love-weary mind as I was enticed in even closer.

Before I knew it, our lips were merely a hairs breadth apart. I knew I was intoxicated, but I didn't care. She is like my heroin, she could destroy me but I craved for one glorious hit more than I needed oxygen to live…and I felt like nothing could stop me…

"Mmm Kana-chan" I jumped a mile suddenly as I felt an icy cold foot slide up my pyjama leg. My heart raced at the sudden, poorly timed movement from the sleeping Yukino.

Time ticked by as I lay there, my body shaking from the sudden fear induced adrenaline rush. The drumming noise that filled my head, eventually calming as I gradually came back down to earth.

_Damn you Yuki-chan! I thought you were awake for a second there. _

I vowed to myself to never do something so stupid again with out permission as my rigid body relaxed and unintentionally sidled a little closer to my sister's. As soon as I did this though Yukino, seeking warmth, cuddled up tightly to me, her scent once more invading my senses.

_I can't live like this for much longer_.

The temptation was too great and I knew it.

_This isn't fair on Yuki-chan…and it just isn't safe for my sanity _I thought as my weak will power caved in and I wrapped my arms around the blondes waist. _I'll…tell you tomorrow Yuki-chan, I promise._

Kissing her on the forehead tenderly, my thoughts ceased to exist as I resigned my now exhausted body to a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>"Kana-chan"<p>

…

"Kana-chaaaan~" I twitched slightly as I heard my name being called. "Wakey wakey sleepy head" Grunting I turned over, shying away from the source of the noise. The last thing I wanted to do was get up and face the world in my current state.  
>Hearing a small sigh followed by sweet silence, I settled back down into the warm covers.<p>

_Maybe I can just stay wrapped up like this all day? _I thought as I buried myself deeper _But wait, wasn't there something I was supposed to do today-_

"Ahhh!" I screamed as the covers were promptly ripped off my tired body without warning, exposing me to the chill morning air.  
>I quickly turned to face my sister and gave her the stink-eye as I scrambled to get the sheets back, launching myself off the side of the bed to my target.<p>

I was mid-flight when Yukino gave me an evil smile, moving further back so she was out of reach, causing me to simply fall to the ground in a heap as she giggled at my expense.

"Yuki-chan! What gives?" I shouted as I stumbled to my feet with all the grace of a baby deer on ice.

"Now, now Kana-chan. You've been getting awfully lazy lately, these past couple of weeks I've been getting up before you." The blonde scolded as she wagged her finger back and forth "That was just a little wake up call"

Feeling like a naughty child for some reason, I stared back at her in disbelief for a good minute or two until I decided to take action.  
>Faster than you could say Maru Maru Banana I pinned Yukino down and tickled her to within an inch of her life.<p>

"How insolent of you! You have clearly forgotten who is boss here" I said in a haughty voice as my fingers worked their magic on the side of her ribcage.

"N-no Kana-ch-chan…haha…st-stop…noooo" Revelling in the sound of my sisters half-laugh-half-screams, I continued with my torture.

"I shall cease when you apologise for that little stunt this morning"

Struggling to breathe evenly, I heard Yukino pant something that could have been interpreted as "I'm sorry". Only then did I let up and allow the girl beneath me to catch her breath.

"Well I'm glad that's sorted" I said happily as I got up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You're such a meany Kana-chan" Yukino pouted as she grabbed her squishy pillow and held it close to her chest in a pseudo-sulk.

"Only to you Yuki-chan" I said with a brilliant smile, hoping that she would forgive me. Though when she turned her head to the side and gave a small 'hmph' noise, I realised it was time to bring out the big guns. Reaching under the bed I pulled out a packet of special Meiji Porte Hokkaido whipped milk I'd been saving for just such an occasion and waved it in front of pouting blondes face. Immediately she sprang into action, snatching the treats out of my hand and giving me a big hug.

"Thank you Kana-chan" she crooned, rubbing her face against my chest making a faint blush appear involuntarily "I love you~"

"Heh, I love you…"suddenly a light went off in my head "…too"

Confused by my hesitant reply Yukino, looked up at me expectantly "What's wrong?"  
>My stomach dropped as I remembered the promise to myself last night.<p>

_Can I really do this? How would I even go about doing it?_

"Umm nothing Yuki-chan." I said, trying my best to seem normal "So…what do you want to do today?"

Prying herself from me, Yukino went to sit at the desk and brought out her little pocket diary.  
>Flipping though the pages briefly, she nodded and made a cute little affirmation sound before looking back over at me.<p>

"Well I only have a couple of chores to do today and I don't have any college work to do" She turned her gaze to the window which framed the blistering early February weather and tapping her chin, I could see her mind working over the possibilities "It looks pretty cold out so maybe we should just stay in tonight and watch a movie or something, what do you think?"

Quickly formulating a mental plan I nodded "Y-Yeah sure, sounds great. Any movie you want to see in particular?" I asked twiddling my thumbs which were rested in my lap.

"Hmm, how about that movie about the ballerinas?…I forget what it's called, but it's supposed to be good" Yukino replied from over her shoulder as she began organising her messy work area. No doubt the first 'chore' on her list. And judging by the amount of snack wrappers accumulated on the desk, it would be no mean feat.

"Ah yeah, I know the one." I said absentmindedly as I flipped up my phone to check the time. It read 11:26.

_Damn Yuki-chan was lying when she said I'd been sleeping in lately. _

Casting a lingering look over the wallpaper of me and Yukino, I reluctantly snapped the device shut.

Getting up from the comfort of the bed I walked over to the small chest of drawers. Changing quickly into a pair of dark blue jeans, a shirt and a beige cable knit jumper while Yukino was facing the other way, preoccupied with some of the old drawing I'd done of her that she'd found stashed in her bottom draw.

After tying my hair in a loose side pony tail so that my dark chestnut hair cascaded down the front of my shoulder, I walked up behind Yukino and used her head as an arm rest as I leaned against her, peering down at what she was doing.

"Shouldn't you be tidying and not getting distracted with every piece of junk you come across?" I chastised, watching Yukino shuffle through the various scrap pieces of paper and sketchpads I'd scribbled on for her.

"These aren't junk Kana-chan, they're really good…look at this one of me in a bikini" At this she held up the offending doodle right in my face, nearly provoking a haemorrhage in my nose.

"I-I…I forgot about that one…well…anyway…" I cleared my throat and walked swiftly over to the doorway and plucked my ever waiting coat from the hook "L-Listen I'm going to go rent out that movie, is there anything you want me to get while I'm out?"

Looking up from the drawings Yukino stared into the distance in contemplation for a second before shaking her head "Nope, don't think so"  
>Opening the door, I went to make my way out but stared quizzically back at my sister.<p>

"Are you sure? Last chance"

Another head shake was my answer.

"Okay, well I expect that desk to be clear by the time I get back okay?" Without waiting for a reply (though I swear I heard the shout of "That's not fair") I shut the door and made my way down the corridor to the stairs.

I sighed as I made my way down the steps, finally alone I let thoughts and worries of the night ahead torment my head.  
>Suddenly from inside my pocket I felt a vibration. Reaching in, I fished around and retrieved my phone.<br>Seeing it was a text from Yukino I immediately opened it only to read something that made my eyebrow twitch with irritation.

'**Kana-chuuan~ Buy me some dorayaki when you're out (^-^) xx**'

* * *

><p>I couldn't <em>believe<em> what I was watching.

I glanced down at Yukino cautiously to see whether she was embarrassed or not, but she seemed to be watching the screen intently like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. She was leaning against me, using my arm as a makeshift cushion and, considering what was playing in front of us, the bodily contact was making me feel a little awkward.

The day so far had been a good one, I'd helped Yukino finish her odd-jobs and we'd eaten and late lunch before settling down to watch the movie. It had started innocently enough: professional ballerina wants big part in latest production; doesn't think she's good enough; tries to get better. Seemed pretty simple…until the creepy stuff started happening. This didn't bother me as much as it did Yukino though and in fact, I secretly enjoyed it when she would cower up against me to hide her face away from the screen.

But this…_this_ was a whole other ball game for me.

_Jeeze you could cut the tension in here with a knife…maybe I should say something…_

"Umm hey Yuki-chan…did you know this movie had…this kind of thing in it?" I asked, trying not to sound suspicious and failing miserably.

Yukino gave a little start as if she forgot I was even in the room before looking up at me "Nope. Why, does it bother you Kana-chan?"

"N-No of course not. I just wasn't expecting it is all" The lesbian sex scene that was happening on screen had finally ended but the uneasy feeling I had was still present. I decided to press Yukino a little further "S-say, what do you think about l-l-les…girls who like girls?"

Completely ignoring the movie now, I could see Yukino thinking about my question "I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It can be quite beautiful actually" She said with a bright smile "Besides, no matter what…if two people love each other, that's all that's important, don't you think?"

I sat wide eyed as I absorbed every last word of her answer.

_Oh god, oh god…this is my chance! _

Gathering my courage I spoke up "Listen Yuki-chan, I have…something I need to tell you"

Yukino no longer smiled as her face held a more concerned look, she said nothing though, allowing me to speak in my own time.

"You know how you said the other day that I was in love with someone…" I gulped. My heart was beating so hard and fast, I was worried the inhabitants of the dorm down the hall could hear it. "Well…to tell the truth, I-I am…" I cursed myself for the stutter but I knew I couldn't help it.

I was terrified. I began to doubt whether this was the right thing to do, but I persevered.  
>I knew I'd been living like this too long…and I knew couldn't keep the secret forever.<p>

"And, well…the person I love is…" I trailed off as the last word caught in my throat.

Swallowing once more to clear the lump in my throat I looked deep in to my sisters eyes.

_Here goes…It's now or never._

"…you"

Almost instantly, Yukino sat up straight on the sofa her body rigid. She looked dead ahead as if she was once again interested in the movie.

"What do you mean Kana-chan, you're my sister of course you love me" her voice sounded a little strained and I started to worry a bit.

"But…I mean I…l-love you love you…like, in more than a s-sisterly way" My voice was beginning to break as I saw Yukino wince a little as I was saying this.

Seconds passed painfully. Then minutes. The pit of my stomach felt as though all of the worlds gravity was weighing it down. She still wasn't looking at me, but I felt I already knew her answer.

"Kana-chan…I'm sorry…"

Tears erupted instantly as I suddenly realised I'd made the wrong decision and I was now at the point of no return.

"I love you but…" She finally looked into my tearing eyes that were almost begging her not to continue "…I don't love you like that…You're my _sister_"

I had ruined everything.

* * *

><p>AN: Boo not much attention for my humble little story. Maybe Candy Boy fanfiction isn't as popular as it should be...Or maybe it's just me that's not that popular :O nobody loves meee *cries silent tears of angst* But thank you to those that reviewed! Nice to know my hard work is being read by at least a couple of people.

Anyway, I actually updated a story! Hallelujah! It's a miracle! Only the second coming of Christ will be able to top this!...too far? Ahh well.

As always, tell me what you think in a review and I shall continue the story quicker. If you don't leave a review then you suck (okay...now I know why nobody likes me T^T)

P.S: Before I forget, the movie they are watching is Black Swan. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis *drools*


	3. Chapter 2

**The End of a Small Sanctuary **

**Chapter 2**

_This can't be happening._

"I'm sorry…K-Kana-chan…" Tears of anguish were forming in Yukino's eyes as well as she struggled to keep her gaze on mine. "I-I do love you…I really do…Just not…I just...I just-"

"Please, just stop" I said as I bit my lip, tearing my eyes away from hers I stood up and stumbled over to the door, knocking into things in my haze "It-it's me that as these feelings…it's my fault. I'm the one that should be sorry-"

"Kana-ch-"

"It's me that has screwed everything up…" I clumsily slid on my shoes, barely able to keep my balance as I wiped at my running eyes and nose. "I-I'm going out…"

"Where are you going? Please Kana-chan stop, let's talk-"

I didn't hear the rest of Yukino's cries as I flew down the corridor and on to the deserted street.

I didn't stop.

I needed to get away.

I ran.

My legs were beating so fast, my legs muscles screamed in protest as they pulled and contracted too quickly. My chest heaved from the cold evening air that I gulped it in by the lungful, but I couldn't care less.

I ran.

Away from my problems. Away from her.

I passed buildings and crowds, but none of them mattered. Only one face was occupying my mind, drowning out all other senses as I raced through the town. I felt a disgusting kind of shame and realised I deserved nothing more. I ran faster.

My red eyes stung as the wind whipped at them. The tear trails they left had turned ice cold, but never stopped flowing.

Suddenly, my foot snagged on something and I came careering to the ground. With the speed and momentum I had reached, I realised it unfortunately meant much more than this though as I fell to my knees, skidding and tumbling about 3 feet in what felt like icy dirt.

After finally coming to a halt I landed face first onto the ground with a mouth full of soil.

Then all was still apart from the rapid rise and fall of my sore chest.

I'm not sure how long I laid there for, but I was aware of the great searing pain all over my body. Turning over on to my back I looked down. My jeans had ripped at the knees and the skin underneath was badly grazed and bloodied. The palms of my hands were no better, raw where I had tried to break my fall on the frosted over earth. I grimaced at the sight causing the skin around my cheeks to pull slightly, making me realise the side of my face was also scuffed and bleeding a little.

I finally sat up from where I lay, my aching body protesting at the movement. Clambering to my feet clumsily I realised I'd also pulled the muscles in the top of my thighs and down the back of my calves, where I had run with little concern for my well-being.

Sighing, I spied a near by bench and stumbled over to it, limping and groaning with every step.

As I made my over, I dimly realised where I was. It was a small park I frequently took walks in with Yukino, it was a small distance from the shopping district so it was deserted apart from myself.

Collapsing on the aging wood, I stared up at the evening sky, thoughts of my sister and what I had just done once again overriding the throbbing pain I felt.

I had run so hard and fast…but I still couldn't escape it. I willed myself not to cry again.

But I felt so alone. I felt like I was in the grip of a maelstrom, being held under the water by the one thing I loved with no dream of ever surfacing. I had no shelter. No calm. No home to return to.

My reality was tearing at the seams. I was like Atlas with the weight of the world on his back and I had no one to help me shoulder the burden.

_Unless…_

I reached in to my pocket, hissing in pain slightly as my sore hand rubbed against the stiff denim of my trousers. Pulling out my phone I examined it to make sure it was still intact after my fall. Thankfully, it was made of sturdier stuff than I was and barely had a scratch.

Flipping it open, trying my best to ignore the feeling in my stomach as the wallpaper shone back at me, I scrolled down the contacts list. Coming to the one I wanted I pressed the green button, only hesitating for a split second before putting it to my ear.

* * *

><p>"Kanade-senpai!"<p>

I heard her before I saw her. Turning around I watched as her pale face broke into a smile as she ran down the path until she came to a stop in front of me.

Her eyes widened and her grin faded when she saw the state I was in. I couldn't really blame her.

"S-Senpai! What happened to you?" she sprang into action, taking out a tissue from her small shoulder bag and began dabbing at my knees, I did nothing to stop her "Were you in a fight? Don't tell me you are turning into a banchou! Oh Kanade-senpai I don't think I could take you spilling anymore of your precious blood, I'll fight your battles for you if you need!" She began hugging my leg and sobbing against it.

She was shrill and over-excitable but I didn't mind. It was just what I needed to help take my thoughts off Yukino.

"I wasn't in a fight Sakuya, I just…fell"

She stopped whimpering promptly and looked up, doe-eyed at me "R-Really?"

I nodded, offering a small smile which felt a little forced but the small kohai didn't seem to notice as she leapt up placing the palms of her hands on my lap and bringing her face directly in front of mine.

"Then you need to be careful!" she giggled a little despite her previous attempt at a serious statement and said "Though a clumsy senpai is just as cute"

Moving to my side she sat down on the bench next to me and wrapped her arms around my elbow rubbing her cheek against my shoulder. In normal circumstances I would have struggled against her affections, reprimanding her for being so touchy-feely and saying embarrassing things. But right now, I just needed to feel love from someone, even if it was from the obsessive girl by her.

"So why did you call me out tonight Kanade-senpai? Are you planning to confess?"

My stomach lurched at the C-word, and quickly changed the topic.

"Say Sakuya…what is it exactly that you see in me?" it was a question I'd wondered about on several occasions when the small girl had been around me. She was completely smitten and I honestly couldn't understand why.

Sakuya seemed a little taken aback by the question, as if she couldn't believe I'd asked something so obvious "Why wouldn't I like you Senpai? You're so cool and pretty and kind and…oh god, you're making me so flustered! I just want to hug you some more!"

I smiled genuinely now at her enthusiasm. She was infatuated yes. But she was also loyal. No matter how many times I'd shown no interest or pushed her away she'd never given up.

Leaning over I stopped her love-struck rambling about me with a kiss on the lips. It worked instantly, as Sakuya's eyes flew open and she sat stock still before melting into the kiss.

I knew I was using her, to make myself feel better. And I knew I should feel horrible about it…but I just didn't care. I was just giving her what she always wanted, if only for a night, and it took my mind off any self-deprecating thoughts I was having about my own stupidity.

Pulling away slowly I looked into the face of the person I'd just kissed. She looked like she was about to faint of happiness. As her eyes lids fluttered in a dream like daze, she made to lean in again...and all at once I felt a little guilty. I knew she wanted more. And in the back of my mind, I knew I just couldn't give it to her.

"You're a good kid" I sighed, ruffling her hair and causing her to stop her advances "But, I hope you understand I can't be with you"

Sakuya broke out of her stupor as soon as I had finished saying this. It took a small while for the weight of my words to sink in and she understandably looked a bit downcast but she smiled sadly regardless.

"I know Senpai." She suddenly looked a lot more mature than her usual giddy school girl image "You…love someone else right?"

_Is it that obvious?_

I didn't answer verbally, but my silence said more than words and Sakuya, a lot more astute than she lets on, understood.

"Well that person better know how lucky they are!" She chirped up, puffing out her chest, seeming a little happier than she was a few seconds ago "But I hope you know Senpai that I'm not going to give up that easy, just let me know if things don't work out with that person and I'll be right there to comfort you again with a bit more kissy action!"

I suddenly burst out laughing. So hard it made me cry a little.

"Senpai! Oh no I broke her!"

_I wish I had your strength Sakuya._

* * *

><p>I stood outside my dorm room, staring intently at the painted wood of the door. I glanced at my wrist watch.<p>

_12:47…hopefully she'll be in bed and I won't have to face her._

Steeling my courage, I silently put my key in the door, unlocking it and gently pushed it open.  
>I was greeted with darkness and instantly knew I was in luck. Using the soft light of the hallway to guide me, placed a hand on the table by the door to steady my self as I took off my shoes and put them in the correct place next to Yukino's. I realised that the soles of hers were wet, indicating that she had been out recently but didn't think much more of it. Closing the front door, I stumbled my way over to bed by way of instinct and memory alone.<p>

In the dark, I saw Yukino breathing evenly in her bed. My gaze lingered over her face for a moment but I ripped it away abruptly in favour of concentrating on undressing out of my blood stained clothes with out making too much noise.

Once changed into fresh pyjamas I snatched up the MP3 player on the bed side table before I slipped into the unoccupied bed adjacent to the one the two of us usually shared.  
>Borrowing into the sheets, I placed the clip-on style head phones on my ears and browsed my play list until I came to a song I wanted and put the volume up.<br>**_It__'s__ true we are, we are destined to fail  
><em>**It was a song that described how I felt. It was different to any of the other upbeat pop melodies that littered my music player, but I liked it anyway.  
><strong><em>There is a problem here with our society, the absence of my tears is my sobriety.<br>_**I carried on listening, picking up on lines that related to me as tears slid silently from my eyes. Telling myself to let it all out now while nobody was watching so I could seem strong later.  
>I clutched onto the MP3 a little harder and turned to face the wall.<br>**_You're persecuting me, showing hypocrisy_****_, I have a remedy for your insecurity._**

I knew Yukino was really awake when I came in. I'd watched her sleep enough to know she was faking it. I secretly thanked her for making my return easier and made a promise to myself to do the same for her.

_I'm so sorry for everything Yuki-chan...I thought my love would be enough._

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><p><strong>AN**: Okay so, another chapter down. The plot thickens!...okay not really, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

Other than your lovely feedback, the only other reason I'm getting these chapters out faster than I would normally is because I have a tonne of work to do and I love procrastinating a little more than I should ^^" ah well I'll do my assignments tomorrow (I've said this everyday for the last two weeks just so ya know)

Anyway, to those who reviewed, favourited, alerted etc: arigatou, gracias, danke, merci, obrigado, grazie….okay that about exhausts the list of languages I know the word thank you in but you get the idea :P I love you all.

By the way, I know quoting song lyrics is super cliché and I usually try to avoid it, but I wanted to have Kanade angst over a song. I'm not really the _biggest_ fan of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, but I used a song by them.

But yeah, don't lose hope for the twins just yet! Please review and I'll start writing the next chapter and you will see what I mean ;) kthnx xxx

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><p><strong>Omake<strong>

"Oh Kanade-senpai! I'll never wash these lips again!" Sakuya cried out in ecstasy as she wrapped her arms and legs around a life size body pillow with a picture of a certain brunette on it. She'd been rolling around atop her bed hugging her fake, squishy love interest for the past hour and a half now... until she suddenly remembered something.

"Of course!"

Getting up and bounding across the room she picked up the bag she'd taken with her earlier (now deemed her 'lucky-senpai-smooch-bag'). Unclasping the fastening she opened it and rooted through it until she found what she was looking for.

Pulling it out and holding it up like a trophy, she gave a triumphant cry. "Kanade-senpai's precious blood!" Running over to her shrine, she placed the tissue next to her collection of chewed pencils that had been discarded by her love.

Stepping back, she admired her homage to her senpai. She stared for a few more minutes.

Suddenly her smile faltered a little and she sweat dropped.

"Maybe this is a little too far" she said in a deadpan tone before sweeping the tissue into the waste paper bin and going back to practically dry humping her pillow.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Yo people, chapter 3 here and yeah, it's in 3rd person as opposed to Kanade's POV. It wouldn't work otherwise I don't think. Anyway enjoy. P.S. Sorry this took so long…I had many real life issues and I actually had to get round to finishing that work I mentioned D: it was horrible I tell you!

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><p><strong>The End of a Small Sanctuary<strong>

**Chapter 3**

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><p><em>Friday 13th February<em>

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><p><em><strong>Well I don't usually use this little diary to write my thoughts down in, but lately I just feel I have no choice anymore. Kana-chan has been refusing to talk to me for the past 3 days, which means I have no one else to confide in.<strong>_

_**I understand she's embarrassed, but ignoring me isn't helping! I must admit I could have been a bit more sensitive on that night when she told me…her feelings, but she didn't have to run away! What's up with that? I can tell she's been reading way too much manga with that response -_-" so lame! This is real life, we should have talked about it like adults but nooo…anyway, I'm getting off topic. When she told me...I felt really scared. I mean she's my twin! I know I tease and flirt with her a lot, but I didn't think it would come to this. I mean I do love her…our bond is so strong that sometimes I do think we are more than just sisters but…I don't know... Anyway when she did her little disappearing act the other night, I went out looking for her. I searched for ages until I came to a park we'd been to a couple of times before.**_

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><p><em>Saturday 14th February<em>

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><p><em><strong>(…Oh dear, I've written so much it's gone on to the next day DX) She was sat on a bench when I got there just looking up at the sky. I wasn't sure what to do straight away so I just stood and watched her for a little while. After a few minutes I heard something that sounded like a banshee cry and I realised it was Sakuya coming down the path…well, to cut a long story short, they kissed! I couldn't believe it! But what I really found weird is that a part of me felt a bit betrayed by this and almost…jealous. I'm not sure I love Kana-chan like she loves me but, I don't think I could bare seeing her with someone else. I don't want to lose her.<br>I had a thought yesterday...I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do but I think I'll…Uh oh…I hear Kana-chan coming up the hall. I was going to write my plan down here before I actually did it… but I guess there is no time…Oh well, here goes.**_

Yukino quickly stashed the diary away in her top draw just as her sister came in through the door, soundless and avoiding eye contact with her sister, who was now trying to look innocent as she perched on the seat in front of her. It'd been the same for the last 3 days. The younger twin would silently remove her shoes, ignoring the greeting she received upon entering, she would then proceed to change hastily and finally slink into bed. But Yukino had vowed to herself that that would not happen tonight.

"Hey Kana-chan" she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. As usual, silence was her reply. It hurt Yukino that her sister wouldn't even acknowledge her with a quick glance or a grunt or…just anything. It was as though the younger twin had walked into an empty room and Yukino was just an unseen spectre, feeling so lonely and desperately wanting to live again.

As tough as she was though, the blonde didn't let this perturb her from getting a response, instead she tried again with a voice a little more composed and steady than her greeting, hoping this would get attention.

"Kana-chan…we need to talk"

It had the desired effect as Kanade faltered slightly as she pulled her pyjamas out of her clothes draw, pausing for the briefest second. It was a small reaction before she carried on with what she was doing, but it was a reaction nonetheless.

"You can't ignore me forever you know" Yukino persevered trying to catch a glimpse of her sisters turned face to tell what she was thinking "We live in the same room so the silent treatment won't get us anywhere"

Kanade showed no emotion at Yukino's words, though her brow furrowed almost unnoticeably. She carried on getting changed as if nothing had been said, secretly cursing her self for being such a coward but she knew this was a conversation she just couldn't have tonight. Her emotions were still too raw and she didn't want to hurt her twin.

"Kana-chan…please say something" Yukino now sounded as though she was pleading, her previous confidence cracking.

Still without looking at her, the brunette mumbled something into the air as if it wasn't meant to be heard for she knew it would only condemn the one it was meant for.

"I'm going to move rooms next week"

These were the first words Kanade had spoken to her sister since the fateful night 3 days ago. These words that were so simple yet held so many implications.  
>All at once, Yukino was shocked into silence. She had expected Kanade to be upset. She had even expected her to cry. But never had she imagined her sister would act so drastically as to cut her out of her life completely.<p>

Yukino now realised she had no choice.

"Why are you punishing me like this Kana-chan" her voice was barely above a whisper yet it served as an air horn ringing in the younger twins mind, startling her to now look at Yukino with wide eyes. There were no tears in them, only fear and shame.

"I-I'm not punishing you Yuki-ch-…Yukino. It's for the best" Kanade sat down slowly on the side of her bed and put her head in her hands.

"It's best for who? Because it certainly isn't what I want! You are just running away again!" Yukino voice had become a little more sharp, though it still retained the calm quality that always seemed to be present in her unavoidably melodious tenor.

It made Kanade hang her head even lower with guilt before whispering "What else do you want me to do?" Her shoulders began to tremble faintly as if under some enormous weight "I don't want to hurt you…but…but I can't s-stay here knowing y-you don't…And that I…" Kanade's voice trailed off into choked gasps as the weight finally crushed her. She began to cry again even though she had told herself she wouldn't anymore. In that moment she truly hated herself for being so pathetic.

Yukino wasted no time in crossing the gap between them and embracing her sister in a fierce hug. There were some feeble attempts to struggle from the brunette, but they soon ceased as she wearily resigned herself in the warm arms, thinking it may be that last time in some years to come.  
>The eldest twin began stroking Kanade's hair in an attempt to calm her sobbing. A thousand thoughts were in her head about what she needed to do, she felt nervous and a little fearful but she realised it was inescapable.<p>

They sat there for some time. Kanade's crying had gradually subsided and neither of them moved. Both too enveloped in their own thoughts to notice the minute hand track its familiar route several times on the face of the seldom used timepiece placed haphazardly atop the bed side table.  
>Five. Four. Three. Two. One. All too soon the hand hit ten and as if the clock had been representing a ticking time-bomb reaching its fateful moment of destruction, the mood suddenly changed. Kanade broke the embrace they were in, pushing her sister away with a stony face not paying attention to Yukino, who gave her a look of confusion at suddenly breaking the peace and security she had longed for these past couple of days.<p>

"I'm sorry Yukino but…I've already made up my mind. I'm…I'm still moving out" She said in a tight voice as she stood up stiffly to pull back the covers of her cold, unshared bed. Hesitating in her task though her face softened ever so slightly "This may be selfish but…even if you forgive me Yukino, I can't forgive myself"

_Nothing she says can change what happened. _

There was a small uncertain silence as if Kanade was challenging her sister to test her thought. Hearing nothing from her sister however, she began to climb once again into her bed and resume ignoring Yukino…

"I love you!"

It was supposed to have been a universally meaningful phrase, yet it was blurted out in such haste it was barely audible.

Barely.

Kanade froze in her ascent. She was certain she had heard correctly, there was no doubt in her mind about that… but she was not sure she fully understood.  
>Turning slowly she once again faced her sister.<p>

"I know Yukino, you told me befo-"

"N-No Kana-chan. The truth is…I was afraid and- and before, when you told me…but…I…" Yukino cleared her throat. "I do Kana-chan, I love you too"  
>It was a lie. Yukino didn't love Kanade. She felt a little sick in her stomach and horrible derogatory thoughts niggled away at her conscience.<p>

_Dirty liar._

The blonde desperately tried to keep her breaths deep and even. It was as if any hint of a short, shallow gasp would give her away and her secret would be laid bare.

"Y-You do?" Kanade whispered, she couldn't believe what she was hearing…she almost didn't want to, lest it all be taken back and she felt heart break all over again. Yukino knew this as Kanade continued to stutter "I m-m-mean…are you sure? I thought-"

Realising she had to quell any suspicion in the brunettes mind, Yukino stood and with all the courage she could muster took Kanade's face into her hands. Staring her directly in the eye, she let whatever she had learned in her high school drama lessons be put into practice as she gave a small, sweet smile.

"I mean it Kanade, I'm so sorry for hurting you before. I love you." Kanade's eyes once again began to tear, this time from happiness as she beamed back at her sister and her supposedly sincere words. "I love you"

_Liar, how could you do this? Liar, liar, liar, liar!_

Ignoring her thoughts Yukino cautiously leant in and Kanade closed her eyes as if giving her permission.

In that brief second as the eyelids of the girl in front of her shut tight, Yukino allowed her true emotions to colour her face. Sorrow. Anguish. And most of all shame.  
>Tilting her head she eliminated any space between their lips as she sealed the deal.<p>

There was no going back now. This wasn't a manga or some cheesy drama on TV. Despite the connection the two sisters had, Kanade had believed the lie. She had believed what she so desperately wanted to hear.

A single tear fell from Yukino's eye as she deepened the kiss.  
>She brought her hand up to caress her younger sisters side, eliciting a sharp intake of breath as the fingertips worked their way under the bottom of the pyjama top and danced across the surface of the soft skin under them. The air in the small dorm room seemed to heat up to the intensity of the inferno. Lust being the only thing driving Yukino now from breaking down now, she gently began lifting Kanade's shirt.<br>The young artist was taken aback by the bold movements of her sister but she did not stop them, thinking that Yukino simply loved her so much she couldn't control herself. Instead she returned them with as much fervour as her twin was displaying.  
>And thus began the night's entertainment.<p>

Body against body.

Hot breath mixed with hot breath.

Earnest words of love replied with unearnest ones.

Lust and Love, both desperately trying to prove themselves, fell in to sync as the hours of the night fell away and surrendered to the dawning sun of the fresh morning. Only then did they finally resign themselves to rest…only then was everything still.

Kanade, with all her problems now nothing more than a distant memory, fell asleep instantly after the exertive acts they had just performed. Completely spent, she rolled over, resting her arm across the waist of her new lover.

A small amount of light shone mercilessly through the crack in the curtains of the room straight on to the face of the blonde haired twin, who was still very much awake.  
>It was a brand new day, yet Yukino still felt dirty and stagnant.<br>Not for what she had done with her sister. But what she had done to her sister.  
>The lie still weighed heavy on her heart.<br>She rolled over, throwing the sheets off of her body in frustration only to have it shiver in protest as it was attacked by the unheated morning air.

Willing herself to look at the girls face who was lying next to her, blissfully ignorant of the inner turmoil running through her head.

She whispered in voice no louder than the warm breeze on a summer's day "I'm so sorry, this isn't how I wanted it to be Kana-chan, but I just can't lose you" she brushed a dark lock of hair away from the sleeping girls face. The light contact caused Kanade to mumble something faintly and give a small smile.

Yukino could only stare in breathless anticipation as her sisters hold on her tightened.

Yukino could only stare as she realised that that smile, that slight and almost insignificant smile, made every sacrifice she was willing to make... completely worth it.

In sacrificing her body, she cured her loneliness.  
>In telling a lie, she restored her sister's happiness.<br>It may have been a twisted relationship, but as long as they were together, Yukino couldn't have hoped for more.

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><p>AN: I'm feeling so Emo :P I focused so much on emotions in this story it all turned out a lot more angsty than I expected hahaha. But whatever, I hope it's at least a little believable. Perhaps not the ending you would all hope for but meh you can't just instantly fall in love with someone like that…hey, at least they are together.

This will be the last chapter other than an epilogue to let you know how the twins get on in the future…it could turn out good, you never know ;)

But yeah…*In an Irish voice* Would you kindly review dis cha'pter (-Bad attempt at mind control-)


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